“I have no idea why people are so obsessed with death. I mean shit, you only have one life so why waste time thinking about how it’s going to end? There are far better things to do, ah shit.”
He proclaimed, as his mis-timed jump caused him to land on a piranha plant, just by a pixel. This was his thirty sixth attempt on stream, certainly not counting the thirty thousand runs he had done off it.
As he took some deep breaths and tried to regain his composure, he took a look through the chat comments. He was visibly taken aback by one in particular.
“Your hamster died? Oh man, what? What a downer, dude! Why did you bring that here? I mean, oh god, like, I’m sorry, but you’re totally ruining the atmosphere man, why not take a shit on the dining table during your half sister’s wedding just because she didn’t marry you, I mean, Jesus!”
And with that, he went to commercial.
An elderly man on a walking frame is hobbling, in pain, towards his door as his younger neighbours look on, gossipping.
“Did you hear? He’s refusing to die.” “Wow, his kids must be suffering.” “Right? His grandkids won’t be able to go on holiday this year for sure.”
At the door, the man drops his keys, and winces further in pain.
“Shame.” “Shame indeed.”
After a fade to black, the words appeared on the screen:
When you want to give life, choose death. Choose Pazamack Euthanasia.
The screen fades to white as the camera zooms out of the old man’s smiling face, to show he’s in a coffin, surrounded by smiling relatives.