Summer Project 08

“I’m sorry, I can’t ear you! Time’s up, there’s a penalty!”

Ryuji stood up, leaned back, with knife in hand, arms outstretched, and started laughing like a real maniac.

He turned to Andy.

“I guess you’re expecting that even though I’m a hardened yakuza, I won’t even touch your woman here, because we all know that my character has fans, and nobody can touch a fan favourite, nobody can change my crazy, sadistic, murderous yet still PG13 rated personality, even though I’m supposed to be a hardened motherfucking yakuza.”

The grimacing yakuza picked up a plastic bag, and pulled out a plastic bag, and a roll of sellotape.

“You know what that means? PG13? Parental guidance advised because there’s some content not for kids under thirteen. Do I sound smarter than my game bio? No? Okay, so let’s look at mister red shirt here. How did he even get wound up in this? Nobody cares, because nobody knows him, it wouldn’t be a problem if I beat him within an inch of his life, it’s not like you had time to set up a revenge story. Eh? Isn’t that right? Nobody cares, I can just beat him up, cut him up, torture him, and just before I turn to one of you, Terry will explode through the wall. That’s how it goes in your usual comic book. But… this isn’t a comic book. This is real life. And I fucking hate Joe. He’s so fucking boring, he just brags a lot and throws his feet around. He’s another one of those compensation packages, where Japan pretends they have the best practitioner of a sport from another country. Well, can’t have another karate man hero running around, can we. So, here’s what I’m going to do.  I’m going to slowly suffocate Joe until he dies. Terry won’t make it here in time. Nobody will. You’re just going to watch him die. You’re going to see that you’re not in a comic book story. Ah, I suppose, for anyone watching at home, this is the part where you might want to stop younger children watching.”

Ryuji placed the plastic bag over Joe’s head and tightened it around his neck with some sellotape. The bag was transparent. Andy and Mai made some muffled noises through their gags, but eh, of course they would, it’s not like they wanted Joe to remember that they didn’t protest as Ryuji was trying to kill him. But they really didn’t expect anything would come of this. It was all cheap dramatics, of course Terry would come bursting through the door at the vital moment.

But he didn’t.  And as Joe struggled and struggled, and the plastic shrank and expanded, it started to mist up, and Mai found herself thankful she couldn’t clearly see his face.  Joe was trying to bite the plastic as he began to panic, and his breaths sped up as he began to asphyxiate. Watching gleefully for a few minutes, Ryuji then stood up, looking bored, and poked a hole through the top of the plastic, giving Joe a breather.

Ryuji turned to Mai.

Why didn’t you do something?

She glared at him. Not much else she could do.

You could have.  Let’s try again.

Ryuji took a fresh bag and put it over Andy’s head.   Andy didn’t react.  Solemn as always.  He even closed his eyes.

He’s not even going to resist, is he.

Wrapping the sellotape around Andy’s neck, Ryuji was watching her closely.  ‘If you look away, that means you don’t care’ he cackled softly, ‘or is it the other way around?  I’ll leave it up to you, but I wouldn’t miss this, if I were you.’

Andy was trying to slow his breathing, meditating, biding time for Terry to arrive. Ryuji took out his knife and examined the blade once more, it was obviously ritualistic by now.

Mai felt absolutely fucking nothing as Ryuji poked the blade into Andy’s neck, just beneath the adam’s apple.  Noting both their lack of response, he pushed the blade in further, piercing the trachea.

Look, look, he doesn’t need to breathe through his mouth now.

You know… you do know the art of Shiranui ninjitsu… with like…. fire… 

Andy’s head drooped forward, and the stream of blood gushing from the hole started to pool at his feet. Still she sat.  Ryuji had sat on his haunches, studying her.  Joe had stopped breathing.  And then Joe was dead.  In seconds, which should have been a few minutes later, Andy slouched forward completely.  He was dead.

You’re free now.

And the flames burst forth, incinerating the whole room.


This is a work of fan fiction. This work is not to be reprinted, reposted, sold, copied, or stored anywhere but here on Please share a link to this page so I can get 0.0001 cents from ad revenue lol. Characters are copyright SNK, I will apply for licence if this ever gets popular (as if).  Work is copyright Alan François.

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