Ah, fuck.
The notification on his phone alerted him to the fact that someone was raiding his farms and stealing his produce.
What the hell, why me? He thought.
He had time to look at the invader, and it was a player with a much higher level. There was literally no way to defend. All he could do was watch his cute and friendly cows get sucked up into the enemy spacecraft to be turned into hamburgers. He had taken time to grow this livestock, by pressing buttons on his game and dragging icons across the screen. It had been a waste of time. This was very annoying. In fact he grew furious. He sent a message to the player.
what the fuck is your problem?
? Responded cowcowmcow8r what are you talking about?
you just raided my farms! What the fuck man!
bro, I’m playing the game. This is literally the game.
but why me? What did I do to you? This is not fucking fair!
lol wut? What did you expect me to do? I’m supposed to raid farms, that’s how I get stronger, lol this isn’t a farming simulator. This is an empire building game.
ah go fuck your mum / I’ll build my empire inside your mum
HappyFarmer92 went into the chat rooms,
what the fuck man, cowcowfucker just raided my farm and took my shit!
Yup, did the same to me.
So what do we do?
Spend money on the game and get stronger.
what, no fuck that. Can’t we all attack him at once or something?
Have you seen his level? Can’t do shit. Even all of us together, probably could grab a bit of his farm but not much.
hey don’t count me in this, I don’t need him putting a revenge target on my farms. Keep me out of it
so I’m just supposed to sit here and take it?
the game wants you to spend money, you can buy weapons and get stronger.
i don’t have money for that
Sorry bro.
This game is pretty fucked up. It sucks balls.
Shit be like that yeah
Because he still liked the game and told himself he wasn’t an addict, HappyFarmer92 continued building his farm and just hoped he wouldn’t get attacked. He started looking for a guild he could join for protection, but the biggest ones were all full.
fuck
He heard the buzz on the bedside table and dreaded the notification. He was confident it wasn’t work related, it could have been bad news from a relative but that was about as probable as pulling a S class warrior. It was more likely that fucker stealing his cows. He grumbled but sighed in acceptance, and lo and behold, there that overly pay to win strong POS was, he could imagine his face grinning, but then he paused to think of the way he had spoken with the guy. He could have just lol’d and told him “what you gonna do about it?” But instead had calmly explained the way to play the game. He could just picture him shrugging as he hoisted a rotund Friesian over his shoulder. And then it dawned on him. He looked around the neighbouring fields. There were smaller farms that the bigger players didn’t bother with. Their plunder wouldn’t make a difference to them. But to him, well, that could compensate for the losses quite well. But geez, this wasn’t very nice, this was awful, this was bullying, this was capitalism, and simply dog eat dog. He considered the humanity of it all, and launched an attack. After laying waste and razing several farms, his account level started to rise. He noticed he didn’t even need to farm himself, he could just spend all day raiding others. His level rose and rose.
Inevitably, he received a message from one of his targets.
Hey, you took all my cows man
Yes, I got all the cows man
You think you good at this? Not stop?
Never stop, never enough cows, gotta get them all
You take all the cows?
“Well, yeah,” he said, calmly “that’s how the game works, I mean, what you gonna do about it?”
Well, replied the player, I find you, I give you offer. Real good.
Sure, he replied, whatever lol
GAME TIME: Flip a coin