Look, I know it may feel like you're so full of inconvenient urges that you suspect most of your eye is white solely because of an overabundance of happy little swimmers waiting for their chance to escape, and most guys in their twenties (hilariously) think, "Well, there's no way my body is going to change anymore now," but I assure you of one thing: Five or ten years from now when in a vain attempt to figure out if anything still turns you on you're sticking one nut (and only one, no double dipping) into a freshly purchased jar of Vlasic dill pickles while keeping a toe pressed on your remote's 'up channel' button, kneading a two-pound loaf of raisin bread dough at three in the morning and trying to turn your head to JUST THE RIGHT ANGLE such that every third channel seen in your peripheral vision looks like a moose chewing on Colin Firth's hairy left leg with a green flip-flop dangling from the foot, thinking to yourself, "I've tried everything else. Surely this has to turn my crank. Oh please, Flying Kung Fu Jesus and His Amazing Giant Robot, let this be the magical combination that gets my rocks off. I just want to feel aliiiiiive again," and yet, you fear it's taking too long because, dammit, those pickles are cold, the remote's stupid corner is digging into the arch of your foot, and trying to defocus your eyes so you can see the TV and yet not really see it is giving you a headache...
Well, I'm not saying that it's definitely going to happen, but don't be too shocked when it does. Just sayin'.
ALTERNATE BLU-RAY ONLY ENDING: Eventually as you become older your brain will be filled with more shit you gotta think about on a regular basis. Believe it or not this can and will start to push the sex thoughts over into a smaller part of your brain meats.
Whoops, got into the realm of serious answers for a second there. Quick do something!
Ah, that's better.
